How? How do you do those things?

How do you or how can you? I have struggled and suffered, so much, since that December night in 2016. So, I am asking, begging, pleading for the answers. I don’t know how and I don’t know if I can or could. I have no idea or clue, I don’t know how to do those things. I don’t know how to let that go, to make peace with it, to move beyond it and to love life, again. I don’t know how. So, How?